Youve treated me so kind
And it may not have seemed like it
But youve always been in my mind
You never left.
You were always there for me
Thats something I sometimes never could see
I just got mad
Without out realizing how good I had
..Had it with you
Beacuse you never left.
I wanna say thank you
For never leaving me...
_______________________________________________________________
I love it how your soo shy
And when I ask you if you are
You just lie..
But its okay I understand
Because i'm here holding your hand
Never letting go
Just want you to know
I'm here with you now
You think I hate you
But I don't
And won't
I love you and want you to remember it
Dont push it out like usual
Please..just let it sink in
I Love You.
__________________________________________________________
"Our Teenage Romance"
They say we're just too young
but when I hear or see you I cant breath through my lungs
No ones too young for love
They don't know how you and I feel
...They just don't know what's real
Like our love...our teenage romance
The feelings I have for you are just...unexplainable
When you hold me..in your arms
I feel safe...as if there are no harms
When we hold hands..
My legs get weak...
Its like im sinking in quick sand
Your the perfect one I seek
I'm telling you that this is our teenage romance. <<------Added **August 29,2005...11:50PM
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Although we disagree a lot
We still dont say that we fought
We make up in the end
No matter what
We do..
We disagree because we care soo much about the other person to care what they think
In the end...we agree
Which everytime more and more lets me see
Just how much you care for me
I know you do a lot
And I care so much for you
Although you like to test me
Its okay I understand ..you were just trying to see
See if I really do
I dont mind..its fine
As long as in the end..
You know how much I really do care
And you know..i'll always be there <<---Added**..August 30.2005 ..12:20AM
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Just Trust Me"
Please please..don't think negative
Just Trust me I wont forget you for as long as I live..
Don't have those bad thoughts no more
Although things may get sore..
Dont give up on me
All we have to do is wait and see
See what happens next..
Ill say it or even write it in a special text
To tell you that I love you
Be happy...think happy please don't be sad no more
Your the one and only that i'm for
Like you and I have said before
Im yours
Your mine..
Til the end of time
Just trust me when I tell you that I do love you
Ill be there soon..
Probably the usual at noon
Ill see you soon I promise
Ill go no matter what..
Nothing will stop me
Your someone I have to see
Or else ill be busy missing you
And having the want to see you right then and there
Thats something I couldnt bare..
So Im not gonna let any of this happen
So here ill share
..Trust me ill see you
...Just Trust Me... <<----Added**August 31, 2005 10:15AM
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When someone calls me
Your name is what I hope to see on that caller id
If it is I get a big smile on my face
Happy that you finally called
We talk; sometimes we hang up
But you always call right back to say sorry
And either way I still love you
You can never stay mad at me
And I love that
You try to say you hate me
but that never works I just say I love you
And you go I love you too.. <<----Added**September 1,2005 9:50PM
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Picture Pefect(Fake)"
Wanted perfection
People judge you many times
Saying oh your not good enough
If you don't like it; tough
Deal with it
Well most people can but not her
She wants to fit in
Look like those models in the magazines
Beautiful; perfect.
She thinks maybe i should go under the knife
It would give me a better life
A better look
I think ill go sign up; set date and time; Soon...
They put me to sleep
Right before I fell into a deep sleep I could hear the snap of their gloves
Dim the lights
Everything's blank after that.
Til I woke up..
...Agonizing pain...
9 Months later
Everything's healed and done..
I looked perfect..picture perfect..
Wait till everyone sees me
I'm finally beautiful..
They'll let me fit in now..
I'm sure of it..
Next Day...
Back to school..First day...
Everyone looks..and turns..whispers
Rumors.
Rumors.
Rumors.
Ugh, it has gotten worse
I'm too perfect now..
No..
I'm fake..
All fake...
I'm not picture perfect anymore...
I don't want to be picture perfect anymore... <<----Added**September 1, 2005 10:45PM
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Hearing the Yelling.."
Younger years..
Dreaming peaceful
Until woken up by yelling..
Angry yelling..
Ugh, figures..parents..
Always..fighting..
Over the smallest of things..
I would run across that empty wooden hallway
To my sister.
Comfort
Until that day where she was finally fed up with it
She left.
Took me and my sister..
He remarried..
Didnt even bother to tell me
I found out what?..2 months or so later
Not even by him; my sister..
She remarried..later though..
Had a couple boyfriends first..
Which obviously didn't work out
I didn't like the guys anyways..
Well, now she fights with him..
Except now I don't have to hear it..
Finally.
Why couldn't it be like that before?
Once in awhile they drag me down
Down there to the fighting..
I'm used to it though
Which is terrible.
Except..now..I have no one to run to
Yeah there's the phone
But its not the same...
Sister dearest isn't here anymore..
So Its me...mom...him...yelling...
Sometimes..
I can still hear them yelling...
...Except its everyones yelling..
Just...Collided together <<----Added**September 2,2005..5:50AM
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Her Herself...and Friday Night"
Just her.
Movies.
Couch.
Popcorn.
Soda.
Lonely Friday night...
It was her choice though
Declining invites
She just wanted the night alone
Night..to her self
Watching movies
Probably tearing up once or twice
Chewing down candy and popcorn
Taking little sips every now and then to wash the food down...
Getting comfortable on the couch..
...Falling asleep in the middle of a good movie <<----Added**September 2,2005..11:25PM
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Love&&Happiness; Hurt&&Pain"
Disguised in love && happiness
When only i'm only hurt && pain
Just shadowing it behind me..
So no one can discover it
I don't want them to see
See me like that..
Don't want them to worry; that's all
Im living still
Means I can live with it
Hardly though.
But enough to survive
Overcoming the hurt && pain
Shadowing it with love && happiness
The hurt && pain
Keeps me in check
With reality
How much it has the ability to hurt
But also benefit; sometimes; rarely
Unless, your lucky
Extremely lucky...
All you'll see for now is love&&happiness
Maybe ill open up more
Maybe.
For now lets just say you briefly know about my suffering...<<----Added**September 4,2005..2:50AM
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Then&&Now"
He was never there for me
I was being fooled; because just now I see
He's never gonna be there for me
Not then; not now
He told me he always loved me
He didn't...
Not then; not now
I tried spending "quality" time with him
But, of course
He would blow it off
or, give me money to buy me off
One or the other
..maybe sometimes both
Always.
Always then; always now<<----Added**September 4,2005..6:45PM
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Happy Birthday; Happy Birthday
Let me first just say
That I love you
Jen and Mike love you too
But of course you knew that...
Ill say it anway..
You work hard all the time; all day everyday
Have today in a different way
Relaxation..
You deserve it
..Lay down all day..
As today is your Birthday<<----Added**September 5,2005..1:45AM **Dedicated 2 mah ma..itz her bday 2day..lol obviously...**
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You just let me fall
You wanted me to fall
Didn't you?
Well this time im getting up
Pushing myself with my cold bare hands if necessary
Let me fall again
Push me down with agressive force if you really have to
Im gonna get back up...
Until you make me fall so hard you'll break me into pieces...
Ill just then...lay there;&& lay there
Then, I won't get back up...<<----Added**September 5,2005..1:48AM
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"You Put a Smile On My Face"
When I look at you
At everything little you do
When you talk to me
When you call us..a we
It puts a smile on my face
When you walk next to me
When your being a tease
When your being playful
When you tell me i'm the only one you want to see
It puts a smile on my face
When you sing; even if its not well
When all you want to do is hold me
When you pick me among all the other people you chill with
It puts a smile on my face
When you call me numerously
Just to hear my voice on the answering machine
When all you can talk about is me
When you tell me that you love me
When you tell me im your everything
It puts a smile on my face
Everything you do
Everything you think
Everything you say
Puts a smile on my face<<----Added**September 6,2005..11:48PM
((12 MiNUTEZ FROM DA FiRST DAY OF h e l l ::cough:: I MEAN SCHOOL...))
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As I hear them fighting again..
I try to turn the tv louder
Nope..I still can hear them
Headphones...
Nope..I still can hear them
Walk out back?
Nope..I still can hear them
I can always hear them...
Even when they're never even there...<<----Added**September 8,2005..11:30PM
((short poem..but you get what im saying..right?))
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Give Me...(Take Me... )
Give me kisses
Give me hugs
Give me attention
Give me lust
Give me love...
Give me poison
Give me pain
Shoot me with a gun
Leave me dead in the rain
Take satisfaction
Take my suffering
Take me away with you... <<----Added**September 23,2005..5:22PM
****Sorry I haven't wrote in awhile...started school nd everything so I don't know how much I'll update anymore...****
~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Just..Excruciating Pain..
As I express my pain through these depressing words
The tears from my heart come through my eyes
And rolls slowly down my cheek
As I sit the pain goes throughout my body
Goose bumps?
Chills down the spine?
Butterflies in the stomach?
No..lately..just pain..
Just excruciating pain..
Putting on those songs that remind me of you.
Some even on repeat.
As I put myself down I think of your voice.
Happiness.
Yelling.
Confusing.
Love.
Lust.
Passion.
In the end it's all pain.
Just excruciating pain...
Seeing what you've said to her...
..Seeing what she had said to you...
Thinking of you..
..Thinking of her
Do you love her more?
If so don't tell me I'm already sore..
I can't take all this..
..Do you just want to be with her..
..Go ahead leave
Leave me
I still have my pain..
..Only thing I can count on..
Just excruciating..body-crumbling pain
Isn't that what you want?
Sure, seems so.
Lying.
If not lying; not telling...saying what happened or what was said
Letting me find out on my own..
She lives too close..
..Too close
Its killing me..
Just excruciating..mind torturing pain..<<----Added**November 08 2005..3:01AM
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Draging the blade throughout her skin
Biting her lip as the blood drips down her wrists
Temporary numbing the pain within
Shes losing her head.
She can't take anything anymore..
Nailing her thoughts on whats been said
Shes just too sore..
What else is there to do other than cry?
This.
She feels as if shes just living in hell && I already had died
This takes some of the pain away.
Only for some moments though.
Until she does it another day.
Deep && low.
Quick && fast; get it over with.
Soon she'll do it wrong.
Then she'll be dead.
It won't be long.
From all the blood she had shed.<<----Added**November 23 2005..11:40AM
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Shes sick of crying.
Shes sick of being who she is.
She is slowly dying...
Shes sick of everything.
Shes sick of her own mind.
Shes sick of being so kind.
She is slowly dying..
Shes sick of the world
Shes sick of being sad
Shes sick of life
Shes sick of everything shes ever had...
Shes sick of her feelings
Her emotions.
Shes sick.
She is slowly dying....<<----Added**November 23 2005..11:41AM
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You had told me that youd love me forever
Now I can see
But, that lasted almost as much as never
And, that you don't want to be with me
I want you to know
That I will always love you
Too bad your not a mirror or soBecause I can get the love right back from you too
I can guarantee that no other girl will love you more
Than I do
You can tell because of how much I am sore
And scarred by you
Dont think that you can just forget me
Soon you will seeThat me && you should have been meant to be
I thought that
Did you?No.
You scarred my heart
I'm never going to be able to trust anyone else again
Now that we had to part
Ill be here waiting
I can come to you whenever; just tell me when
I love you so much please don't forget..
You'll realize when we're together..it's the perfect fit...
But realize it first...don't pretend<<----Added**November 26 2005..9:21PM
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You left me broken hearted
And I can tell after all of this..
It's just getting started...
After our kiss
This is what I get?
This all just doesn't fit..
Leaving me for her
I wish for you to be like you were...
Only loving me
No one else is in your head
Its only me in you vivid mind you see
When youd scribble my name
With little "I love yous' " && hearts
But it isnt the same...
It's not my name you write anymore..<<----Added**November 26 2005..11:05PM
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I would go into my old voicemails
Just to hear your voice
I just can't stand not being with you
Sometimes I just picture you were next to me
Or just look at your pictures..
Go into our old conversations
Seeing your old I love yous
Seeing my replying I love you toos
..Reading our love..
Call you..just to ask you something
So you can give me the answer
..The exact ..perfect one I want to hear..
Go over..just to see you..
Its all gone..
Goodbye.
No.
Let's make this...
I'll see you soon?.. <<----Added**November 26 2005..11:05PM
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lets say our love was like The Notebook love...
We always fought
But yet in the end the only thing that matter was that we still loved each other...
We were in love...
Fight again..
Makeup again...
::Dreams::
No matter what happened we had each other
And was there for each other
Never stopped loving each other
Grew old together
Never left one another for someone else
We both were first on each others list..
No not first..
You && I were the only ones..
No one else was even on the list.. <<----Added**November 26 2005..11:05PM
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As my eyes
Cries out tears
While inside I die
Slow && painfully
My heart also cries
But in some different way
Almost every day
It cries out blood
Through my wrists
Slow && painfully
As my heart c r u m b l e s
While crying
It aches && aches more
Crumbled pieces lay on the bottom of my soul
While slow && painfully
Distentergrates.
So long heart...
...Come home soon...<<----Added**November 27 2005..4:28PM ((Watching Eaglez vs GreenBay)) | 
